Menoleh

Kenangan waktu itu kukira abadi

Kata katamu dulu seolah pasti

Kini kau mau pergi, bagimu ringan

Akhirnya berjalan tanpa bergandengan


Andaikan aku yang pergi

Kenapa seolah kau tak mau ku kembali?

Bahkan sesekali aku menoleh

Mengharapkanmu lagi jika boleh

Ternyata

Ternyata semua orang tau
Buruknya dirimu
Sudah kututupi dalam kalbu
Namun semua itu karenamu


Ternyata kamu mau

Pada semua orang yang aku pun ragu

Ternyata aku halu 

Ku pikir aku satu



Ps ternyata aku yang ke enam

The End.

I remember the first time we made our book

In the right place but not really the right time

You and i became the main caracter to our story

Pages by pages are fullfiled with happy stories

We were running in the rain at night and chasing the sun in the morning


But one day it was just became empty

The story ended


The sad truth is 

I started to write another chapter

With u still the main character

But unfortunately i write the story all by myself

It’s not clear, its all grey because i couldnt see color when im alone


But You suddenly showe up with a story

With another main carachter 

with a happy ending

You know what, i’m so glad u did


Now, i couldnt keep you forever 

So i close my book and never make another chapter

And i quit of being the author to my own story 


Im not sad, but why am i crying? 

The Same Old Song

 Was I a fool

For waiting a million hours

All alone on a bench of the 1965's

Now it's a musée 

Listening to the same old song

on repeat

Tears or the rain fall on to my cheek

Don't want to know

Wasting the night here doesn't feel right anymore

Feels like been here for ages

Yet still i'm listening to the same old song

on repeat

Until Next Time

Aku diam kamu berulah lagi
Berganti hari berganti aksi
Tak ada hari tanpa menyakiti

Aku pernah menjadi yang paling takut
Sampai akhirnya terbiasa jadi pengikut
Hingga kebahagiaan pun kau renggut

Kamu yang menang 
Sekarang biarkan aku menghilang
Setidaknya aku pernah berjuang

Rintikan Luka



Tahun 1965
Menghianati keindahan senja
Di depan bioskop tua bertukar cerita
Mengabaikan segalanya hingga malam tiba

Jika kita hidup di masa itu
Mungkin kita menari di bawah rintik hujan
Mengagumi keindahannya
Bukan malah lari dan menghindar

Pukul 21.00 kita berpisah
Berjanji ada hari esok tuk lanjutkan cerita
Hingga satu minggu berlalu tak ada waktu
Satu bulan berlalu tak ada kamu

Me vs Yesterday


I was about to give u the world
But then u're gone without a word
U left me with no hand to hold
Now I'm walking alone crossing our road

I hate that song we played on loop in your place
But I listened until the chords carved your name
Now it plays like a ghost I can’t tame.

Your voice still echoes in my mind
A trace of you I can’t unwind.
The only thing left is your voicemail 
Sacred and raw

Now all that's left is silence and blame,
A fire we lit that couldn’t be tamed.
But Baby you were gone too soon
And this pain wont gone any soon

He didn't Mean it

He didn't mean it, he never mean to do it
What if the one you love is the one who never appriciates you
You've tried your best to make him proud but you failed anyway
What if the one you wanna live forever with never understands you
However most important things in a relationship are appriciation and understanding well and trust
But there is always something to be thankful for
He is the very last person you think about right before you fall a sleep every night
not somebody else
And you thankful for that

Will it Happen to Me Again?

i hear that word again
and it successfully broke my heart
it's been more than three years since the last time someone said that word to me
The word that used to break my heart into a million pieces
Three years ago someone said that and leave forever
Three years ago my heart was broken
will it happen to me again?

Lebih

Sayang, aku tau betapa kamu takut kehilanganku
Tapi kamu tau? aku lebih
Seribu satu tetes air mataku jatuh
jatuh saat aku membayangkan kamu meninggalkanku
Aku gak sanggup
Aku nggak sanggup duduk di kursi tamu sendirian
Aku nggak sanggup makan samyang tanpa kamu
Kalo kamu bilang kamu takut kehilangan, aku lebih

Queen


About a week ago was my birthday . i got some surprises from my bestie.  i’m old i’m 19 yo already and not a lot of things has changed. i always live with my parents since i was a baby, well even i rarely met my parents back then cz they were busy working to gain a lot of money and yes i bought anything i got anything i wanted easily .i started my day with my maids and ended up with them too. i was like a queen untill i grow up with a queen personality. i can’t cook, i can’t wash the dishes, i can’t do anything that girls at my age usually do.  now i am looking in the mirror and saying ‘am i normal?'. And finally i regret for being a queen.

Someone Like You

Tonight feels so cold
Is it just me or it is cold
Tonight i'm crying
Am i sad or tired
Tonight i miss you
I miss talking to you
Is it just me or you miss me too
I give you a cake as a thankyou
Because my life has been better since 
The day i found you
Absolutely i made this cake with love
Cuz i want you guys to know
That i love you so 
Cuz i know that i cant find someone like you guys
I miss you 


New Year Resolution

When I was a little I used to like cooking. I still remember exactly when I was in kindergarten I started to Cook macaroni with sauce it tasted horrible, it made me got a kind of phobia with macaroni hehe but trust me I used to surprise my mom almost every day when she got back from work when I was a little girl. I did some kind of party planner with food by me and also I decorated the meals and drinks perfectly. It was my favorite childhood memory. As I grew up I become a really lazy girl on entire world maybe I am the laziest person aalive.


That's  why I'm going to break that bad habit this year I wish I can cook well and leave all those lazy habits. To be good at cooking is all i wanted this year.

Btw i went to Mandala krida yesterday with my new friends. They are in a grup called shoot featuredd. A grup of some people who like anything about photography. They were really nice to me. They also really good taking my pictures hehe nice to meet u guys.




Take Me Dek

December, almost everyone's favorite month including me. So many holidays, many fantastic events and don't forget my favorite thing on december is Skaten hehehe. Everyone likes December and i'm pretty sure kids' fav month mostly december because... holidayyyy
well talking about kids hehe my sinematografi friends and i went to an elementary school called SD Singosaren placed in Kotagede Yogyakarta. We ve been there for 2 days for making our new short movie called ' Panca Sila' . The people there was really nice, but kids huft not gonna lie they are annoying really annoying but i kinda like em. i loveee kids.
 Based on my experience there i realized something:
1. Ternyata tren yang hitz waktu aku sd dulu masih tren dikalangan sd sekarang such as WWE tonjok2 an itu loh dulu anak laki laki di kelasku always talking about that. and jokes nya yang mereka bilang dan perbuat itu sama kaya dulu. Sumppah kirain beda jaman beda juga tren nya. Alhasil kalo mereka tebakin aku apa gitu aku bisa jawab karna sama persis kaya tebakanku waktu sd dulu. Ga nyangka sumpah gila kirain udah pada move on from that tren gitu.
2. Anak kecil kalo dilandenin makin menjadi jadi nyebelinnya huft tapi kalo digalakin kasian juga yaa.
3. Ga semua anak kecil nyebelin, ada yang pinter dan ga rewel kaya temen temennya yang kalo disuruh take film pasti lari lari kejar kejaran dulu lah sama crew heeuuuu.
4. Anak kelas 4 sd udah pacaran, ku baru ngerti karna setauku pacaran paling kecil harusnya kelas 6 sd(harusnya?)
5. Anak kecil kalo manggil pacar itu 'bojo' :(
6. Lagi nih gurunya kayanya apal sama semua muridnya gitu, jadi gampang diperhatiin nya.
Daaahhh segitu aja lainnya lupa hehe So tired but happy at the same time, they are so cyuuuttt apalagi yang anak kelas 1 pengen bawa pulang satu deh rasanya hehe
Berada di sd lama lama berasa pengen balik ke sd, pelajarannya cuma 5x20 cuy, gurunya pun asik banget as i mentioned before gurunya itu kayanya apal sama seluruh muridnya jadi enak gitu diperhatiin ga kaya SMA yha gurunya nge absen baca nama aje salah mulu huft








for me it's the most wonderful month of the year

Resting My Heart

Being single doesn't mean that we never get hurt. i do, i get hurt all the time, by the person i care about, i care about him doesnt mean i like him. he can be from my past or nah. but yes my heart is empty more than 2 years and now it s still empty. i sometimes realize that i like someone but i know that person still never fits in my heart. well iknow maybe it means that i'm still not ready for the new love.  i used to think that i am not good enough for anyone but now i realized that no one is good enough for me yet. and im still strong enough to handle things all by myself so that's why im still single hehe.



Btw i love this green tea cake so muchhhhh it tastes like heaven hehehe



Ala Ala

This pictures were taken 2 days ago. All of my classmate and i went to Go Rich Cafe to have a photoshoot for our year book or as known as bts. Well i knew that our yearbook photographer will only take picts for bts so i brought my very own photographer hehehe and my photographer which is my school mate we always have the same opinion about photography so here are our 'foto ala ala'





btw my class' yearbook theme is fashion revolution, cute huh?



Even Longer

I suddenly remember a Winnie the Pooh movie, i used to watch that movie a lot when i was a kid. I looveee how pooh and piglet love each other ,care and i love every single quotes there. A friend is someone who helps u up when u re down and if they can’t, they will lay down beside u and listen.

Well talking about friendship, i met 3 friends in high school 3 years ago. Not just friends actually they are a lil bit more special than the other friends in my highschool. People call it 'best friends' but i call it 'best bitches' wohooo. love them so much.

They are not perfect friends that everyone wants to have but they are honest. Maybe they are not the kindest but they’ve changed me better. I’ve learned a lot from them, patience and simplicity.


I used to be a lil bit arrogant but they told me and showed me how to be a better person. i used to be angry all the time but well yeah i’m still grumpy now haha but they ‘ve changed me to be a better person anyway. Not gonna lie they are all suck sometimes but they still give me food. However my senior high school won’t be perfect without them. In less than a year we will be apart guys so lets still be friends. till we're old guys, even longer.




bukan promosi ataupon endors ya sist gan

Date Myself

That feeling when u re driving alone, eat alone, watch a movie even buy things alone. I can say that doing something on my own is one of my fav thing to do. Sometimes i confused why most people are so reluctant to do fun things on their own. It's fun lho. This doesnt mean i dont like being with my friends, or i have no friends, yes i have, ive friends to see a movie with, eat in a new rastaurant or just hangout. but well sometimes i wud be happier going out n doing something on my own. And i find out it s not bad at all hehehehe i thought going to a coffee shop on my own sounds fun. it was true guys trueee

 



"i would be happier going out and doing something on my own"

Only Yesterday

Now i believe i almost can finally close my eyes, ive never felt so free like this moment before. i think this is the most incredible feeling since he said goodbye. Thanks God if this is the best for me i won't regret every single feeling that u gave to me because i know that You know the best.
God , it's so hard for me to believe that i feel nothing now. i keep thinking about how in only a week i can released from that horrible feelings. it feels like only yesterday i was crazy and i couldnt stop talking about it and now i feel nothing it hurts no more. i’ve had enough pain and tears and it’s breaking my heart.  i believe that i’m getting sick already about it.
i might talk about it again but trust me it is not because i’m still thinking about it.
i do love him but i don’t know i’m pretty sure that feeling slowly disappears.





Main

Happiness is meeting with old friends after a long time and feeling that nothing has changed.

 March 10